The Start Of Civilisation Via The Back Passage!
By Thick Mick, Fri Dec 9th

Following is an excerpt from The Trivial Times . Someconsideration must be made for the many memory inconsistenciesof Thick Mick. He does his best!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mick here, It's hard to believe, I know, butCivilisation was man-made, and my great grand uncle won a NobelPiece Prize for his part.

Wind back your time-piece to the year 6000 B.C., and be carefulnot to break the spring as I did.

It was winter, as usual, and though our daily lives appeared tobe the will of external forces, some special people had theforesight to make decisions that would affect todays'population.

Though I get over-paid for my column, please be patient as Itake you through it.

There was a particular Pagan ritual that provided us with fun,on the face of it, but was actually a brainstorm that ensuredthe current judical system of today.

It was known as THE GAME. This wasn't a nocturnal activity, or amatching of skills for that matter.

We had no skills!

It was latin for "MAGE" or "Mag", and was a much finerpublication than the trivial times, even with the chisel marks.The Mag was the prize for a one thousand feet free-fall diveinto a pool. We had no spring boards either, or indeed,restrictive swim suits.

The pool was not like the modern olympic standard pools oftoday, which drain chlorine-laden storm water to the innards ofthe earth.

The pool was a simple lava pool!

All the local "bullies" were encouraged to participate, andalways agreed to agressiveness, with unknown results.

This was BRILLIANCE" and "VIRAL", and "LOW BUDGET"entertainment. The prize still hasn't been won.

One after one, they lined up to win the prize. One after one,they failed. The trick was to hold your breath, I think, andno-one copped onto it.

As a boy of eighteen, I could never figure out why such men ofHerculean physiques failed to win the "Game". It took me manyyears of research to dicover that the solution was in the stone,and indeed, only understood it properly, a few minutes ago.

Legend had it that instructions were actually carved into thetablet of granite, but they were written in "Javascript", alanguage with origins

from the island "Java" (this island isstill in existence, before I broke my spring, anyway).

Wasn't I a lucky boy that my true nature wasn't discovered asquickly and easily as I discoved the solution, for I wouldsurely have drowned!

"Swimming and stones are not exclusive", I remember some old ladsaying at a time more trivial than now.

Mick Savage. Indepth columnist with THE TRIVIAL TIMES.savageswimming@thetrivialtimes.com

About the author:Thick Mick is "an expert" on historical matters, with the The Trivial Times.